Painful Secrets
by iHaveFishiesSwimmingInMyBelly
Summary: This is what it had come to. Cutting. While Mitchell is trying to kill the pain, he could end up killing himself. Rated T for self harm, suicidal thoughts/actions and eating disorders. May be triggering.
1. Chapter 1

***A/N: This is my first "Modern Family" fanfiction, so the characters might be OOC (out of character). Hopefully not to much, though. And please, nobody try any of this, it can really mess a person up. Believe me. Also, the words in _Italics_ are Mitchell's thoughts.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Modern Family" or any of the characters.**

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Mitchell sat on the bathroom floor with the razor blade in his hand and his sleeve rolled up. His eyes followed the silver and pink scars up his arm as well as the new and healing cuts. _If Cameron knew, I don't think he'd be able to take it. He'd probably leave me._

Mitchell had been cutting for almost 2 years now. It helped him deal with everything. Cutting helped him deal with his life. Not being accepted, etcetera. Somedays, he felt like he was going to break down. But cutting made Mitchell feel a sense of relief.

Mitchell put the blade on he wrist. Slowly sliding it across while pushing in the blade lightly, he felt the familiar sting of pain. The crimson liquid flooded out of the fresh cut. The strong, familiar urge to cut again took over him. Mitchell pressed the sliver blade to his wrist and cut again. Those two cuts turned into 6 cuts quickly and the six turned to 14. Blood ran down Mitchell's wrist. He picked up the blood stained, once-white rag and held it against his wrist. What had triggered this one was Mitch's thinking. He was thinking about the horrible things that had happened to him, like his father not accepting who he was.

Suddenly, Mitchell heard a door shut and keys drop onto the table.

"Mitchell?" Cam's voice rang out.

_Shit!_ "Hang on!" Mitchell shouted back.

Mitchell yielded the bleeding to stop fairly quickly; it was kind of sad how fast he could do it. And he did such a good job of disposing the evidence; this secret was his to keep. The secret of him cutting. He splashed cold water on the fresh cuts and rolled down his sleeve. He put the razor in the bloody rag, folded it up and stashed it under the sink where nobody would look. Checking around the bathroom to see if he missed anything (which he didn't), he opened the door and stepped out.

"Hi, Mitch." Cam greeted when he saw him. He sat down on the couch.

Mitchell only managed to smile through his pain- both physical and emotional.

Cam looked at Mitchell, confused. Lately, he had been withdrawn and quiet. Almost like he was depressed.

"Is everything okay?" Cam asked.

_No, I was just in the bathroom cutting. Again._

_Should I tell him?_

At the thought of that, horrible scenarios of how Cameron might take the news of Mitchell's self injury flooded his mind.

_No. I'm fine._

"I'm fine, everything's okay." Mitchell lied as he sat down on the couch, too.

_Liar._

"Are you sure? You've been really quiet these past couple of weeks." Cam pointed out.

"Cam, I'm fine. There's just been...a lot of..stuff..going on at work." Mitchell made up another lie. In fact, work was the one place things were okay.

Cameron believed him and he nodded. "Okay, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

_I can't talk to you. I'm afraid you won't listen. You won't understand._

Mitchell just nodded slightly, "I know. Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all who reviewed! They meant so much to me. Please continue to leave reviews for feel free to PM me.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Modern Family.**

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Mitchell woke up the next morning at 10:14. He rolled over to discover that Cameron had already woken up.

_Good._

Mitchell sat up and his eyes trailed down to his sleeve.. Hae pulled it up and saw the many scars and cuts. The ones from yesterday were so deep that he was surprised they hadn't opened during the night as they were so sensitive. They even opened in the shower. Mitchell was thankful they stayed closed during the night. So many of his long sleeved shirts were getting ruined because of his cuts opening and blood staining the sleeves. Luckily, he was able to discard them before Cameron saw and discovered his "secret".

Mitchell threw off the comforter. He stared down at his legs. The original place he had begun to self injure was his thighs. Although it sometimes scared him because of the the visible veins but, at this point, Mitchell simply did not care any longer if he died. If fact, Mitchell _wanted _to die. Suicide was a recurring thought in Mitchell's sick mind. He had never attempted before, but always thought about it.

Mitchell finally got out of bed. He looked around for Cam, trying to be as quiet as possible. Mitchell found him in the kitchen, making breakfast. Unfortunately for Mitch, Cameron turned around and saw him.

_Dammit._

"Good morning, Mitch." Cameron greeted.

"Morning." Mitchell mumbled, trying to conceal his irritation. He hadn't wanted to talk to Cam, he wanted to go to the bathroom and cut. Seeing the cuts had triggered him.

"I just finished making breakfast. Do you want some?" Cam offered as he scraped two pancakes on a plate and set it down on the table.

Somewhere in his depression, food had become a thing Mitchell developed an aversion to. He rarely ate now and had lost quite a bit of weight from it. Sometimes whenever Mitchell felt he had overeaten or "lost control" and couldn't stop eating, he would have to make himself throw up to rid himself of the massive amount of calories he'd consumed. Another secret Mitchell hoped would stay with him.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry." Mitchell lied.

"Oh, okay," Cam said, dismissing this as anything serious.

"And don't forget we have to be at my dad's house by 3:00." Mitch reminded him.

Mitchell's dad, Jay Pritchett would often invite the entire family to his and his wife, Gloria's house for dinner at least a couple times a month. It was nice to have the family together.

"I know." Cameron said.

Mitchell wasted no time getting out of the kitchen. He disappeared into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and let the bathroom fog up so he could not see hid reflection in the bathroom mirror. Mitchell hated to look in the mirror and see what he had become. It was horrible.

Before Mitchell got in the shower, he dug out the razor blade and the bloody towel. He wasn't going to use the razor, though. He was going to use a knife he had hidden last night in the bathroom. He took it out of its hiding place; on top of the mirror where it was much to high for anyone to reach without standing on something. As he held it, he smiled. He knew relief would come soon.

Mitchell sat down on the floor and rolled up his sleeve. He pressed in the sharp, sliver demon and slashed his wrist. Feeling relived at the pain, Mitchell did it again. He kept doing it until 10 deep slashes covered both of his wrists. His arms (and the tile floor) was a bloody mess. The thick, crimson liquid even got on his hands.

"These are going to leave scars." Mitchell mumbled to himself as he held the bloody rag to his wrist.

At 3:00 o'clock, Mitchell and Cameron were almost ready to leave.

"What time are we going to get back?" Mitchell asked.

"I don't know. Maybe around 8:30? Why are you acting so nervous?" Cameron asked.

Nervous was one way to put it. He didn't want to go. He was having second thoughts. Mitchell just wanted to stay home and not be bothered with anyone or anything.

"I don't know." he sighed.

"Well, come on. We're going to be late." Cam said.

He grabbed Mitchell's arm and pulled him towards the door, completely unaware of the fresh cuts that covered his wrists. Mitchell winced and jerked away. Cam looked at him confused.

"Are you okay?" Cameron asked.

Mitchell clutched his wrist. "Yeah, I'm fine,"

"Are you su-"

"Yes, Cam. I'm fine. Can we just leave?" Mitchell interrupted.

_I'm not fine, I'm far from it._

_No, I'm fine..._

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**I'm sorry this wasn't as good, but I promise the next chapter will be better. Also, a surprising twist going to happen. And in a future chapter, the most shocking twist is going to happen! I'm so excited for it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry I'm posting this chapter late. I haven't had the time to work on it. Thank you for all the reviews, though! They mean so much :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Modern Family.**

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Mitchell and Cameron arrived at Jay's house at 3:12. Phil and Claire along with Haley, Alex and Luke already had arrived.

Mitchell knew what to do: fake like everything was okay, just like he always did. Act like everything was fine when it wasn't. He was dying inside and nobody saw it. He hid his pain _that_ well.

After dinner, while everybody was watching a movie, Mitchell managed to disappear off into the bathroom. The volume of the TV was so loud, but he turned on the water faucet (it covered the sounds of him puking) anyway. So clever...

Mitchell put the toilet seat up and kneeled down. He leaned forward and stuck two fingers down his throat.

It wasn't hard for Mitchell to throw up; it never was. Yet he heaved again and again until he could see specks of blood in the regurgitated food.

Satisfied, Mitchell flushed the toilet and examined around it for any trace of vomit. Finding none, he shakily walked over to the sink feeling the same numbness he always felt after throwing up. He washed his hands and rinsed out his mouth. He replaced the vile smell in the bathroom with cheap air freshener.

Acting like nothing had happened, Mitchell went back into the living room and sat down, alone. He didn't even think anyone noticed he had left the room much less come back in.

**MITCHELL'S POV: **

After the movie, everyone had gone outside to hang out. Claire and I had decided to wash the dishes. We were almost done when "it" happened.

I had pulled up my sleeves slightly so I wouldn't get them wet while I was washing the plates. Claire and I were catching up on things and laughing. And, unknowingly, I had pulled my sleeves up higher to avoid getting them soaked with water.

I forgot what I had said, but it made Claire turn to face me. I shut off the sink, turned around to face her and that's when she saw.

"Wait, what's that on your arm?" Claire asked.

I froze for a second. I now noticed I had pulled up my sleeves while I was washing the dishes. _Dammit! _I pulled down the sleeves of my shirt quickly.

"It's nothing," I said.

"If it's nothing then let me see," she said, reaching for my arm.

_No! This can't be happening! Claire is going to hate me once she sees my cuts!_

My heart pounded._ I can't let her see! _I almost pushed Claire away from me, but instead I tried to pull my arm away but she already had it in a tight hold, unfortunately.

"Let go of me, Claire." I said, my voice shaking and my heart pounding so loudly.

But Claire was already pulling up my sleeve. She gasped at the sight of my cuts and silver and pink scars. How they overlapped each other and how deep some were. The ones I did this morning were suddenly burning again.

"Oh my god, Mitchell." Tears were running down Claire's cheeks slowly.

"Claire...," I started.

"Mitchell, why? Why and how could you do this to yourself?" she interrupted.

"Claire, you don't understand." I told her.

_She'll never understand._

"Understand what? Why are you doing this?" Claire looked at me.

_I deserve it . _

_It's the only thing I can do right. I can't deal with any of the shit I go through._

"Because I can't deal with any of the shit I have to go through! I go through hell trying to do everything I can to keep going on and I can't take it anymore." I yelled. Rage took over me.

"What do you mean by 'all the shit you have to go through' and 'keep going on'?" Claire's voice was still shaking, but with worry and fear.

"Isn't it obvious, Claire? I go through hell trying everything I can do to keep living! Life is too much. Nobody in this family likes me, not even our father. How do you think that feels? To know that everyone thinks of me as a joke?" It all came out. Everything I was feeling all was coming out. _No going back._

"Don't be stupid, Mitchell! None of that is true and you know it. Everybody loves you, even Dad. Dad loves both of us. He doesn't show it often, but he loves us." my sister told me.

We were talking so loud, I was glad nobody would be able to hear us; however, I found out later I was wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: 5 reviews for chapter 3? Thank you all SO much! I'm so happy :D**

**Okay now I know I said this in the first chapter, but I am going to say it again. The characters may/will be OOC, but please forgive me. This is my first Modern Family fanfic.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Modern Family.**

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Mitchell had managed to make it through the rest of the night at his dad's house. He made Claire promise not to tell anybody. Hesitantly, she agreed. After they finished up in the kitchen, they went outside to join the rest of the family.

Later that night, when Mitchell and Cameron were in bed, Cam finally said admitted something that would change a lot of things, but nothing compared to what was going to happen.

"Look, I have to tell you something," Cameron said suddenly as he turned to face Mitchell.

"What?" Mitchell asked.

"I heard you and Claire talking earlier, Mitchell and...is it..true? Do...you...cut yourself?" Cameron said slowly, enunciating each word as he looked at Mitch with sorrow in his eyes.

Mitchell's heart skipped a beat upon hearing this. His stomach turned to ice. Cam knew. Mitchell didn't say anything. He had no words. He rolled up his sleeves and showed Cam the damage. That said more than his words would have.

_There's no going back._

Cameron gasped as he took his boyfriend's arm in his hands gently. He ran a finger across one of Mitchell's deeper scars, avoiding the fresh cuts.

"Oh, Mitchell," Cam said softly, his voice breaking. "Why?"

"Cam, you don't understand. I need this." Mitchell said firmly.

"No, you don't need this. And I may not understand, but I can help." Cameron told him.

"Cameron, you can't help. Nobody can help me. I'm dead already." Mitchell didn't mean for the last part to slip out. He looked at Cameron whose face was completely drained of any emotion.

"I'm sorry." Mitchell said as he rolled down his sleeves and turned away from his boyfriend. Mitchell silently sobbed into his pillow.

_How could I be so stupid?_

Mitchell stopped crying after 10 minutes. Making sure Cam was still awake, which he was, Mitchell said, "Almost 2 years," almost inaudibly.

"What?" Suddenly, all of Cam's focus was on Mitchell again.

"Almost 2 years. That's how long I've been doing it." Mitchell admitted.

Hearing this almost broke Cam's heart. How could he have been so blind? Mitchell was struggling and he couldn't see that. Cameron was mad at himself for being selfish. He loved Mitchell, but obviously not enough to see that Mitchell was this upset.

"There's something else, too," Mitchell said, causing Cam to shake out of his thoughts.

Cameron looked at Mitchell.

Mitchell, feeling anxious and nervous, took a deep breath and started to tell his other secret. The one that would explain the nicks on his knuckles caused by his teeth from the repeated purging.

"I throw up sometimes." Mitchell said.

Confused by this, Cam replied, "What do you mean?"

"Whenever I eat too much or something, I make myself throw up. And sometimes I don't eat at all. To lose weight." Mitchell explained.

This made Cameron really mad. He looked away from Mitchell, trying to figure out what to say next. Mitchell eventually broke the heavy silence.

"Why are you so mad?" he asked.

"First, because you're doing this!" Cam shouted and got out of bed and angrily paced back and forth at the foot of the bed. "And second, I don't know how I could be so blind! I mean, is it because me? Am I doing something?"

Mitchell chuckled, but not of amusement. Because of the irony.

"It's not about you!" he said firmly. "It's about _me_, okay?! Can't anything just me about me? And I know I sound self-centered right now, but..." Mitchell's eyes filled with tears. "It's too much! I can't take it anymore! I hate pretending like everything is fucking _perfect_ when it's not!" he shouted.

Cameron had stopped pacing by now and was now looking sympathetically at his boyfriend who was sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn't help but feel horrible. He walked over to Mitchell and tried to hug him. To his surprise, Mitchell pushed him away.

"No!" he cried. "Don't touch me! You don't even know me!" he yelled, still sobbing into his hands. "I don't even know me." he said in a much smaller voice.

Mitchell forced himself to stop crying. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Just let me go."

Mitchell got up and walked quickly past Cameron. He went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He turned on the water faucet and retrieved the knife and towel from its hiding place. He rolled up his sleeve and pressed the cold knife to his forearm. He swiped it quickly across, wincing at the sudden sting. Ignoring all the blood running down his arm, Mitchell put the knife the his arm and cut again. He made 10 cuts on his left arm. Each one deeper than the last. Blood was running down his arm and dripped to the floor. Mitchell thrust his bloody arm under the cold water and admired how the water turned red underneath it for a couple seconds.

Mitchell was still bleeding after holding his arm underneath the water for about 10 seconds, but not as much as before. After drying his arm, he cleaned up the crimson liquid on the floor. He put the knife in the towel and stashed it away again in its hiding place. Mitchell rolled down his sleeve and he couldn't help the few tears that managed to slip out.

Mitchell turned off the water. He felt a mixture of emotions. Overstressed, panicky, sorrow, guilt, anger...He concealed them all.

Mitchell unlocked the door and opened it. He turned off the light and walked slowly back to his room.

_What is wrong with me?_

_I'm a disappointment. A mistake._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, two chapters in one day? And I thought this chapter was going to take a long time, BUT I'd like to thank A Writer With Mixed Interests for helping me with this! You rock!**

**This is the "surprising twist" chapter I was so excited about! Enjoy! And this story is far from over!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Modern Family.**

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A week had passed since Cam and Claire found out about Mitchell's pain filled secret. In that week, Mitchell had only grown worse. He was cutting more and more everyday. He ran out of room on his arms and had moved to his thighs and stomach. It hurt Mitchell to move sometimes because of the cuts on his stomach.

Mitchell was also still purging and refusing food. In some way, doing that made him feel strong.

However, Cam knew Mitchell was getting worse. Mitchell was getting thinner and thinner. His once lively, sparkling blue eyes were were now dull and lifeless.

Cam, not knowing what to do, decided to call Mitchell's dad on a Wednesday night and tell him about it. Cam kept the cutting a secret, but told Jay about the purging and refusing to eat. Jay organized another get-together for the family on Saturday night so he could talk to Mitchell about it and discuss whether or not he needed help.

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"Look, Cam told me that you make yourself throw up after you eat to lose weight." Jay told his son once they were alone in the kitchen on that Saturday night.

This took Mitchell by surprise. How could Cameron tell his father about this?

"He told you?" Mitchell asked in disbelief.

"Mitchell, he's worried about you and so am I. You haven't been yourself lately." his dad said.

Mitchell was mad.

_I shouldn't have fucking said anything!_

I don't care. I'm fine. It's not a big deal." Mitchell said coldly.

"Mitchell, this _is _a big deal. You need help and-" Jay was cut off by Mitchell.

"I'm fine, Dad! This isn't a big deal! **I am fucking fine**!" he nearly shouted.

That did it. Jay lost his temper. He was through trying to talk to Mitchell. He walked over to the drawer and pulled out an object.

"Here," Jay put a fillet knife down on the table in front of Mitchell. "Why don't you go cut yourself, then? That's what you like to do anyway."

Mitchell's blood ran cold. Looking around the kitchen, he realized that 9 pairs of eyes were on him. The entire family must've heard him and Jay fighting and went into the kitchen to see what was going on.

_How did Dad know?_

_Did Cam tell him about this, too?_

It wasn't a secret between Cameron, Claire and Mitchell anymore.

"Oh, you didn't think I knew? I heard you and Claire talking the other day!" Jay's voice grew louder. "Let me see your wrists," Jay grabbed his son's arm before he had a chance to get away. He rolled up Mitchell's sleeve and the cuts were visible. Soft gasps filled the room. Anxiety and panic filled Mitchell. The entire family now knew his secret. Nothing was _ever _going to be the same again. Mitchell felt tears sting his eyes at the thought of this. It was ignominious.

"Good lord, Mitchell. How could you do this to yourself? This is sick!" Jay threw his son's arm down and Mitchell quickly rolled down his sleeve hiding his cuts.

Jay was silent for a few moments. He paced back and forth angrily.

"Go on, Mitchell," he said finally. "Go take the knife and cut your wrists. Maybe you can do us all a favor and just kill yourself!" Jay stormed off upstairs where he went into his room and slammed the door but not before he spat, "You're a pathetic excuse for a son and I knew you'd end up like this. Worthless!" Gloria gave Mitchell a sad look, then ran upstairs after her husband.

The tension in the room was high. Mitchell felt extremely uncomfortable and he had to get out of here. Everybody was looking at Mitchell, but nobody said anything. Mitchell felt hot and like he was going to pass out.

"Kids, why don't you go into the other room?" Claire suggested, while gently pushing them out.

Once they were out of the kitchen, Claire turned back to her younger brother.

"Mitch," she started, but he was taking the car keys out of his pocket.

"No," Mitchell said. "I'm leaving."

Before Mitchell turned to leave, he looked his sister in the eyes. "Dad really loves me, huh?" Mitchell managed to say.

Mitchell walked quickly out of Jay's house as Cam followed behind him. Mitchell quickly wiped away the few tears that managed to escape.

"Mitchell?" Cameron asked as soon as we got in the car after Mitch gave him the keys, he was shaking so much that he could barely grip onto the keys.

"I don't want to talk." Mitchell said in monotone while staring blankly out the window.

Cam and Mitchell stayed silent the the whole 11 minute car ride home.

When Cameron pulled in the driveway, he walked Mitchell inside.

"I have to go to the store for something. I'll be back in 10 minutes. You'll be okay?" Cameron said, putting a hand on Mitchell's shoulder.

"Yeah." Mitchell said, his voice barely above a whisper.

_No._

"Alright." Cameron walked out the door.

Mitchell was left alone. And he knew that it was time.

Nobody was home, it was the perfect time!

Mitchell Pritchett was finally going to end the pain once and for all.

And be free.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is going to be everybody's thoughts about Mitchell's self injury. I'm not going to do Cam and Claire since they already knew about it. I'd also like to thank my best friend,A Writer With Mixed Interests, for helping me out with this chapter! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Modern Family.**

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**ALEX:**I am in shock. My own uncle self harms. This isn't right. It should be _me_ that is Uncle Mitchell. I have thought about self harm before in my life, but I have never done it. When Grandpa pulled up Uncle Mitchell's sleeve and I saw all those parallel slashes and red marks, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I was in shock. I hate crying in front of people, so I cried in the bathroom. It made me so sad to see Uncle Mitchell like this.

**HALEY:**I know a few girls at my school that cut themselves. But they were girls that wore black clothes and a lot of black makeup. They were called "emos". But Uncle Mitchell doesn't dress or act like them. He's _normal _I guess. Isn't cutting only something that girls dressed all in black and write about their insides being filled with tar or something do? I guess not. But Uncle Mitchell always seemed so..._happy._

**PHIL:**I've never had to deal with something like this before. I have heard about self injury before and it's serious and it's also scary. What if Mitchell were to cut too deep? When Jay pulled up Mitchell's sleeve, I felt sick. I should've know something was wrong with Mitchell because he hadn't been acting right the past few weeks.

**LUKE: **My uncle hurts himself on purpose? Alex said it's called self harm and some people hurt themselves on purpose when they are made or sad. She said it makes them feel better. Wouldn't that hurt, though? Ow. I'm kinda sad Uncle Mitchell hurts himself. I wish he would stop. I don't like it when people are hurt.

**GLORIA:**Cutting. How could Mitchell be doing this to himself? If he were this upset, he should have just _talked _to us. We're his family! He can trust us! Could any of this be my fault?

**JAY:**This cutting thing is just _sick._ Who can bring a knife or whatever to their own _skin_ and purposely make themselves _bleed? _I am disgusted at Mitchell for doing this crazy thing. I have _never _been more ashamed at him than right now. I mean this: He is a pathetic excuse for a son. And what the _fuck_ did I _ do_ to desrve a son like him? A son that's gay, that makes himself puke and that cuts himself? Hell, I don't even _consider _him my son anymore. I wish he was never even fucking _born. _That would've made my life a hell of a lot easier! I have even told all of this to Gloria and I mean **_every single god damned word._**

**MANNY:** I'm scared. I really am. Mitchell is my stepbrother. He's the only one I've got and I love him. What if one day Mitchell cuts too deep? He could die! I can't take this...I've never felt more panicked than I do right now. Mitchell needs help. There's so many things I need to tell him, but I don't know if I can face him again anytime soon. I'm a little afraid of him.


	7. Suicide

**A/N: I want to say thank you to everyone who has read this story and has enjoyed it so far. No, this is NOT the last chapter. When I first got the idea for this story, I was planning on having this as the last chapter, but not anymore. There's still more to come! **

**DISCLAIMER (which I think I forgot to do in this in the last chapter): I do not own Modern Family.**

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_One cut would end it._

Mitchell was in the bathroom again and for the last time with a sharpened knife at the vein in his wrist.

_I can't take it anymore. Everyone will be happy I'm dead. Especially the family. 11 people in this family will be enough. They don't need me or want me. I've been a waste of their time for years. They'll be so happy. Especially dad. He wants me to die. He said so_.

Mitchell heard the front door slam shut and keys drop to the table. Cameron was home. Without thinking, Mitchell pushed down on the sharp knife and cut. The dark red liquid appeared as if by magic and dripped onto the floor. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, in fact, it barely hurt at all.

_I'm going to die..._

Mitchell was happy. No more pain, no more suffering. No more pretending or anything. It was all over. A couple of tears dripped down his face.

Suddenly, a sharp knock was heard. It was Cameron at the bathroom door.

"Mitch? Are you in there?" Cam asked.

"I'm free." Mitchell whispered.

"What?" Cameron asked. The doorknob moved, Cam was trying to open it. "Mitchell, open this door!"

Black dots flooded Mitchell's vision while he still bled.

"_How much blood is in a person?_" Mitchell thought glumly.

"Mitchell!" Cameron was yelling out of panic.

Mitchell felt his legs give out and he fell to the ground...slipping into a deep sleep.

Cameron broke open the door by throwing his body against it. He screamed once he saw Mitchell on the floor, bleeding profusely. Blood was everywhere. Cam wanted to rush to his boyfriend's side, but the blood...he couldn't. Instead, Cameron rushed to the phone, calling 911. He was yelling and talking so fast on the phone, the dispatcher told him to slow down multiple times before she finally got the information she needed. He couldn't lose Mitchell. He loved him and couldn't bear the thought of losing him.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'd like to thank A Writer With Mixed Interests for helping me out again! I'd also like to thank all of my reviewers and everyone who has followed/favorited this story!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Modern Family.**

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_Doctor John King, you're needed in OR. Doctor John King, to OR._

The monotone voice of intercom crackled. The waiting room of the hospital was filled with a strange, heavy silence before more members of the family showed up.

Claire and Phil were the first to arrive. They were without their kids as they had felt the kids didn't need to be here.

"Cameron!" Claire said running up to him. "Cam, what happened?"

Cameron turned to face them both. "Mitchell, he-he..." Cam's voice shook. He was on the verge of tears. He took a deep breath and tried to explain, ignoring the few tears that managed to escape.

"Mitchell, he tried to kill himself. I came home and he was in the bathroom. I knew something was wrong. I heard him say something about being free or something. I heard him fall down and I had broke open the door. Blood was everywhere. I knew he was in trouble before, but I could never have imagined he'd attempt suicide..." Cam explained shakily.

Cameron felt sick after explaining this. He sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs. He buried his face in hands and cried. How could Mitchell have done this?

Claire was shocked. Had she heard correctly? Could this be a mistake? Her mind was racing. And tears streamed down her face. She suddenly felt dizzy and sat down.

Phil was as shocked as Claire. He didn't say anything, but sat down next to his crying wife. As he put his arm around her, he bit his own lip to keep from crying until he could taste the metallic flavored liquid.

Jay and Gloria arrived a few minutes later. They rushed in, frantic.

Gloria mumbled something in Spanish then said, "What happened?"

Phil, Claire and Cameron looked at them. Suddenly, Cam stood up and walked over to them. Wiping away the tears, he walked them away from Phil and Claire and explained to them in private what had happened.

"Oh my god, Phil. Please tell me this isn't happening." Claire cried.

Phil hugged his wife. "I'm so sorry, honey." his voice cracked with sadness and he let the tears stream down his cheeks. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Should we call the kids?" Claire asked.

They had left Alex, Haley, Luke and Manny at Jay and Gloria's house and had put Haley and Alex in charge. Claire, Phil, Jay, Gloria and the kids were still trying to get over what happened in the kitchen when the phone rang. It was Cameron, his voice filled with panic and worry. Cam said to meet him at the hospital as soon as possible, something happened to Mitchell.

"And say what?" Phil asked.

"I don't know. I think we should both go over there and explain what's happening. Then we can drive back here to the hospital." Claire said.

"But our car can only fit five people and we'll have six when we pick them up." Phil pointed out.

"We'll ask my dad if we can use his and Gloria's other car. I'll drive the girls, you'll drive the boys. Deal?"

"Deal." Phil agreed.

Cameron told Gloria and Jay about Mitchell's suicide attempt. Gloria started to cry. Jay just stood there as if he couldn't process what was going on, only he could. There wasn't a word to describe how Jay felt at that moment. He knew that Mitchell tried to kill himself over what he had said. It was his fault Mitchell attempted suicide. Jay was a failure as a father. His _son_ tried to end his own life because of _him_. Jay tried hard to swallow past the hard lump that formed in his throat. He couldn't cry, god _damn _it.

The three of them walked back over to Claire and Phil. Both of their eyes red from crying so much.

Nobody knew what to say to each other. I'm sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry for being so blind? Sorry for not seeing how broken Mitchell was? I'm sorry could mean so many things and it could mean nothing. Those two words had a lot of power.

They stayed in the waiting room for about 20 more minutes until a doctor moved them to another room. The room was small and had plain white walls. There were three brown couches and a brown chair.

After the family sat down on the couches, the doctor, sitting the the brown chair, introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lance. I understand you're all relatives of Mitchell Pritchett?" the doctor said.

"Yes. I'm his partner, actually. Cameron." Cam said.

"And I'm his father, Jay, and that's his sister, Claire." Jay spoke, pointing to Claire.

"And I'm his brother-in-law, Phil." Phil said softly.

"I'm his mother-in-law, Gloria." Gloria replied in her thick Colombian accent.

The doctor quickly tried to memorize all the names.

"You have a large family, I'm guessing?" Dr. Lance said.

They all nodded slightly.

"About Mitchell, he is still in surgery, but he is doing fine so far. And I'm going to explain what happened. Mitchell had cut the veins in his wrist in an apparent suicide attempt. This is rarely fatal as the vein goes into spasm and blood pressure lowers to cease bleeding. Mitchell did lose quite a bit of blood, however. He also did cut fairly deep. We are suturing the vein and he might have some damaged nerves and tendons even after surgery."

This was beyond belief. It was still sinking in that Mitchell attempted suicide. _Suicide._

"When the surgery is finished, you will be allowed to see him." The doctor stood up and left the family to grieve.

Jay couldn't take anymore. He stood up, excused himself, and walked out the second door in the room. It lead to an empty hall. It was probably there so people could have privacy to talk to friends and family.

Jay was hysterical. The lump in his throat dissolved and he cried. Tears streamed down his face like a waterfall.

"God dammit!" he exclaimed in a whisper. "God **fucking** dammit!"

Jay punched a wall, but not hard enough to leave any marks, much less a hole. He sobbed uncontrollably. He regretted saying everything he said to Gloria and Mitchell.


End file.
